leaving paradise

Why would you ever leave paradise?



I mean voluntarily, not just with your head bowed in shame because you ate its forbidden fruit. I left because my ticket said it was time to leave, which is a ridiculous reason; it's a schlep and a half to get to the place, getting back is even worse (cause you're traveling in the wrong direction), so you best stay long as you can. But my bank account also went from silently weeping in the corner to screaming its head off, so i'd come to the end of the road anyway.



Now that i'm back to what i guess is reality and normality (with my kind of brain, both concepts are forever in question and rarely within reach), i can tell you a couple of things about paradise. It's an odd place to get into:



but once in there is that sense of infinite beauty



with the kind of views and blues usually reserved for, well, movies about paradise



and some beautiful people





who are there to cherish the blue and the sun



but even the clouds are pretty



and even the rain is sunny



and fantastically fat



the insects are HUGE



the birds tiny



the fish quite sociable



as are the lizards -though they prefer to be outside



whereas the porcupine fish likes to be inside



and the frogs like monofins



the corals are smart and angelic



and can come in the shape of a rubber ducky



of course, this is modern day paradise, so there's quite a lot of plastic shit about



which has its own sad visual poetry



but other than that, it is remarkably pristine and crowd-free



and it seems paradise takes over civilization more than the other way round



so i'm happy to report that the tree of wisdom is safe and sound



and that i obviously have yet to partake from its fruit



but during the journey back into civilization i had a thought



you don't really know about love until you've had your heart broken, or about life until someone you love dies. In paradise, happiness is a state rather than a moment. I hope the memory of that state adds value to future moments.

And i hope to be back in paradise as soon as bank accountably possible.

lessons learned in 2011

it was another mad year



met some interesting smelling characters



saw some interesting things



and it turns out that god is indeed a DJ



and drives a fiat



but some of the land was designed by Miro



and some plants by Freud



this is how cherries ought to be eaten



though you can always complain about a lack of condiments



some pants are very boogie woogie



some are unforgivable



and that's not a snorkel in my pants -i'm just happy to see you



talking about pants, them Brits be well classy, innit?



especially when pole-dancing with a parasol



and the Frenchies do mysterious things with their thumbs to British women



the Dutchies don't need fingers for nose-picking



or suits for static



but they do appreciate the classic girl in dress



the Greeks have some deep glasses



their boats almost fly



it is a lot of work keeping Santorini white



and this happens when they fart:



which gets them in all sorts of Darwin Award-winning trouble



they have interesting ways of dealing with nature



though the Austrians of course take a different approach



goats like a day at the beach -provided there is some shade



cats can play peek-a-boo



dogs can conduct



so can my nephew



extensive investigations were done into the phenomenon of water



turns out it's extremely fun



you can jump around in it



and play hula hoop with buble rings



and pee in it, for yellow is as yellow does



which brings us to the unexpected melancholy of a solitary toilet roll



on a lighter note, there is such a thing as a convivial birdie, for all your action, music and penholder needs



and Bee Town has a new sheriff



What else was up in 2011?



well, this is where music comes from



and rain only adds to the rock'n'roll of it



the king is dead and the emperor is still looking for his balls



god might be in the details



but the devil is in my eyebrow



so grooming is extra important



streets can become pregnant



feeding babies do some existential things to you -which can't be good



but it's always good to curl up with a friend



and you can't have too many party horns



Have a wondrous 2012.

Dedicated to those who went around the corner in 2011