snake on the steps

We had an interesting guest at the house this morning



he (or she -it's rude to check) was about to come to the door when we walked out



but got shy once she (or he -still rude) figured out the house wasn't inhabited by fellow members of the serpentine brotherhood (or sisterhood -it's rude to check that as well) -but not too shy for a quick portrait



before heading back into the grass, where i couldn't resist another portrait



it wasn't till she/he (snakes hiss, do female ones hers?) was gone and i got over the wonder of my first snake encounter as a photographer, that i realized i'd seen something quite special: someone without legs (or limbs) climbing steps. Certainly made for an intriguing subject

William Trubridge's secret admirer

No, it's not me -i'm quite open about it. And it's funny to see on this island, when people come to the Blue Hole, they tend to know about William Trubridge and they're quite vocal about their admiration too. But i've noticed something not everyone can see, and maybe even Billy does not know: every day, when he plunges into unbelievable depths



and swims back up again



his moves are followed by one of the tarpon, who even after he's reached the surface, keeps staring up at him adoringly

squirrel squiggle

dog surfing

i knew dogs could swim





even with a ball in their mouth





i never knew they could surf, though

Luda, your friendly neighborhood barracuda

Barracudas have a bad rep, mainly due to their dodgy smile



and while i have encountered some that are indeed of the asshole variety, here in Sharm there is a particularly nice one called Luda



not only is she very nice, she's also very photogenic, and she doesn't mind posing -though i managed to find a wrong angle for her



but she's cool with people about, even an idiot like myself



but she prefers to hang with the little fish under the platform



and i reckon she a romantic soul, for every once in a while she wanders off from the group



and into the sunset

lovely little shit

I think i get ornithologists -though i need spell check to get their name right- but when it comes to birds, i do have distinct preferences/prejudices. For example, no matter what my friend Cara says, pigeons are assholes. Crows, on the other hand, are at least 11 different kinds of awesome. Somehow eagles are fuckers, but falcons rule. Don't get me started on the stupidity of owls, yet there's one that lives on the ground that is fantastic. And though a blackbird's song is probably the animal equivalent of a news broadcast and very funny, they're nasty beasts, whereas sparrows are so hip they hop.

And then there's the Robin, which is like a sparrow, but proudly orange. Every time i work in someone's garden and one of these little guys drops in, it makes me smile. Not afraid at all, come sit right on your spade while you're digging. But usually they're too fast for me to get out the little camera. Today, however, one was so bold, he posed for me sideways



gave me a cheeky little over-the-shoulder



an intimate 3 quarter



and even did a Roger Moore



Then he shat on George. Twice. Brilliant bird, that was.

the Riddick moth

So yes, i came across that alien from that Vin Diesel movie today, what's it called again, where he plays a strong-but-silent type? Wait, that doesn't narrow it down... He's an ex-convict? Still doesn't narrow it down, does it. Ehm, so, yes, alien, he kicks ass, has funky goggles, plays a dude called Riddick? Nah, not the chronicles one, the one that's less pretentious, more full-on unashamed B-movie. Featuring this monster:




So i was all meeting it head-on, like in the movie, cos he can't see right in front of him with the big wide head thing



turns out he ain't aggressive at all -kinda like a hammerhead, only then even more alien (go figure)



Somebody needs to tell Vin about this. What was that movie called again?

Cretan critters

forgot to blog about the fantastic beasties of Crete, but there were plenty. There was your regular beach bum



fleeing from the sun was sergeant Pooper



and the David Bowie of cats



plus this guy you wouldn't want to mess with



lest you'd wanna end up looking like this



then there was the Tom Cruise of crickets



who says hi, by the way



the insects were impressive, not just by size, but also because they made it all the way to the middle of the ocean. This is a mosquito from below in the sea



and we had a brief visit in the blue sea by the blue dragonfly, who sang about how Mrs Blue Dragonfly treated him badly



but i was most impressed -perhaps slightly obsessed- by the swallows, who did this low flyby thing





maybe to practice ringing the doorbell of the ENT when they have trouble swallowing



and then at the end of the day they came to the pool for a dip



fantastic place, Crete, with some fantastic beasties.

moth both

"who are you?" asked the moth
"dancer on air, eater of cloth?"
"fly of dust, butterfly goth?"
"minute bat, or sand behemoth?"
"why chose?" she then quoth
"surely i'd be neither, if i can't be both"

swarm enough for ya?

Bees are fantastic: they're fuzzy and funny and make honey and look great on orange



but i'd never thought of them as wild -they just seem friendly and cute. I was wrong, of course. I'd never seen them swarm



not only is the size of the swarm impressive, but the noise it makes buzzes you down to the sternum



and when they settled down, they made a HUGE living branch of bees in a tree





but for some reason, i was the only one out there -everyone else in the street went hiding insides



i tell ya, bees are wild. I quite like wild.

leaving paradise

Why would you ever leave paradise?



I mean voluntarily, not just with your head bowed in shame because you ate its forbidden fruit. I left because my ticket said it was time to leave, which is a ridiculous reason; it's a schlep and a half to get to the place, getting back is even worse (cause you're traveling in the wrong direction), so you best stay long as you can. But my bank account also went from silently weeping in the corner to screaming its head off, so i'd come to the end of the road anyway.



Now that i'm back to what i guess is reality and normality (with my kind of brain, both concepts are forever in question and rarely within reach), i can tell you a couple of things about paradise. It's an odd place to get into:



but once in there is that sense of infinite beauty



with the kind of views and blues usually reserved for, well, movies about paradise



and some beautiful people





who are there to cherish the blue and the sun



but even the clouds are pretty



and even the rain is sunny



and fantastically fat



the insects are HUGE



the birds tiny



the fish quite sociable



as are the lizards -though they prefer to be outside



whereas the porcupine fish likes to be inside



and the frogs like monofins



the corals are smart and angelic



and can come in the shape of a rubber ducky



of course, this is modern day paradise, so there's quite a lot of plastic shit about



which has its own sad visual poetry



but other than that, it is remarkably pristine and crowd-free



and it seems paradise takes over civilization more than the other way round



so i'm happy to report that the tree of wisdom is safe and sound



and that i obviously have yet to partake from its fruit



but during the journey back into civilization i had a thought



you don't really know about love until you've had your heart broken, or about life until someone you love dies. In paradise, happiness is a state rather than a moment. I hope the memory of that state adds value to future moments.

And i hope to be back in paradise as soon as bank accountably possible.