WORLD RECORD!!! Constant Apple No Fins

After months of preparation in secret, eating literally dozens of apples and swimming at least several hundreds of meters, finally on March 28th 2010 i was ready to attempt a new world record, Constant Apple No Fins (CANF).

This discipline is considered the most extreme in freediving, since it involves not only unnaturally long deep dives, but also the mandatory taking a bite from the apple at depth, which can seriously mess you up when executed incorrect.

The previous record was held by William Tell of Switzerland, who made it all the way to the bottom of his pool in his hometown of Apfel-am-Kopf, 3 and a half meters deep. But that record was wrought with controversy, famous not for its pure athletic achievement but mostly for its near-fatality and allegations of the apple being weighed down. So in order to do this, i needed to do it right and beyond the shadow of a doubt -deeper and cleaner.

Therefore, all my orifices were checked on a regular basis leading up to the event -even the extra ones most people don't have- my blood, urine, mucus and hair were sampled and studied both before and after, the apple was picked by an independent Chillian notary official (who had no knowledge of its use) an hour before the attempt, and the pool was measured by 14 seperate judges.

Here's the result:



Notice how the CANF surface protocol differs from lesser disciplines: one has to say "That's disgusting." And it really is. Apple and chlorinated water don't really mix into something palatable.

For outdoor events, should someone be crazy enough to attempt one, i think Granny Smith's tanginess should compensate the salt in a sea event, and in sweet water, the bite of a Coe's Golden Drop might work well.

In my opinion, it should theoratically be possible to go deeper than 8 meters, and i might try, but this attempt and the media frenzy surrounding it has taken a lot out of me. The groupies have too -literally. As always with my records, though, i seek no personal gain, but merely to show the wonders of what the human body is capable of. And in this case, what apples are capable of, too.